It turns out I was right to save my old Christmas sweaters (that’s right, “sweaters,” plural – there’s another one I didn’t show you). Apparently, ugly Christmas sweater parties are all the rage. It sounds like a lot of fun, but I don’t think there’s going to be one in my neck of the woods any time soon. People around here – people my age, mind you – still wear these things non-ironically.
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There were certainly lots of ugly sweater contests around here – as many as costume contests at Halloween. As I saw them all announced, I felt a twinge of regret for being so adamant as a boy that I would not wear sweaters with “too many colors.”